A facilitation note by John Seed, drawing directly on Joanna Macy’s Despair and Empowerment work. These days the Truth Mandala, is usually used, but the Carin of Mourning can be a useful replacement in a shorter process, or in contexts where the intensity of the Truth Mandala may be difficult to present safely or deeply. See also hope’s place in that process. Full manual context: Mourning section of the complete Council of All Beings Workshop Manual.
Like the Truth Mandala, the Cairn of Mourning is an exercise which needs to be introduced well, because it must be clear that it is worthwhile and safe to move deeply into our feelings of grief or anger at what is happening to the Earth. The person who introduces this process should be very comfortable with others expressing their true feelings, and know deeply that no harm will come to people if they do this, and that it is a very healing process.
Key points to raise in the introduction:
- History. The despair and empowerment work of Joanna Macy. The process was introduced by a participant.
- The nature of feelings and how our culture teaches us to deny and suppress our “bad” feelings. Feelings are a type of intelligence — how we survived before our huge brain evolved. The fallacy that we can feel good by pushing away “bad” feelings. Feelings are like a wave; all we can choose is the amplitude. It takes energy to keep the bad feelings at bay — creating depression, disempowerment, apathy.
- In an emotionally safe, loving and healing atmosphere, we are free to feel and express our negative feelings about what’s happening to the Earth. Freed from the fear of our bad feelings, we have more energy. We get in touch with a valid source of information about the state of the world. We can be motivated by our feelings — feelings, rather than thoughts, are what motivate us.
“The most important thing we can do is to hear inside ourselves the sounds of the Earth crying.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Instructions. Find an object to represent something that is being lost from our lives, something that you can genuinely mourn. Bring the object to the center of the circle, in no special order, just when you feel moved. Those of us on the outside will support the person in the middle. It is not a competition, not about being dramatic. This is a time to genuinely grieve what is happening to the Earth.
Sometimes participants bring hope into the mourning circle. If this happens, it can help to remind people that this particular circle is a place to give permission to ourselves and others to express our deepest, darkest feelings. Bringing words of hope and comfort and a more positive perspective can often prevent others in the circle from expressing their “bad” feelings, because — as in our normal lives — they feel expected to repress any negative feelings and look on the bright side, not give in to negativity. If people, consciously or unconsciously, try to “make things better,” the facilitator can gently interrupt and remind people that this is a circle for expressing negative feelings.
If feelings of hope are expressed towards the end of the mourning, they might simply assist the process’s movement up from the depths towards “normal reality.” In a full-length workshop, the mourning can last longer and spiral “downwards” to a very deep and healing place, so it’s worthwhile encouraging the depth. (It is important not to invalidate people’s very real and worthy positive feelings, but just to explain that it is not appropriate to express those feelings here.)
Another thing to watch for is if the “sharings” — independent sharings from the heart — turn into a “discussion,” where people comment on others’ sharings and move towards a mind-level debate. These sorts of discussions are well worth having, but are probably better after the sacred, safe space of the mourning circle.
In the longer workshop form, this is a good place to have lunch — encourage people not to over-eat, and to notice whether they use food or conversation to push down any of the feelings left over from the mourning.
After lunch, a sharing circle where people express anything about how they’re feeling helps process any “left-over” feelings, and is a good place to say anything that didn’t fit into the mourning exercise itself. After this, if anyone has other processes to include — especially something physical — this is a good time. The Evolutionary Journey (see Thinking Like a Mountain) is often included here, or the Cosmic Walk.